Marion, Esther, Tommy, and Suzie at Lake Angola, IN. August 1955.
"Marion, Marion can we go to a movie?”
Our campground neighbor guy asked me if I always called my father by his first name. At age twelve my well thought out answer was, "Yeah.” I drove my best friend’s mother crazy because I’d say thank you Dorothy, and not Mrs. LeClaire. What’d I know, Esther, aka, my mother, called Andre’s maternal parent, ‘Dot.’ I simply used the more formal first name, Dorothy.
My sister Suzie knew no better, we were programmed from birth to use Marion and Esther. No Mom, Mommy, Dad, or Daddy ever crossed our lips. It was unnatural. Being on a first name basis with my parents is just one example of why I think I was born an orphan.
There are three kinds of orphans – fictional like Santa Claus, Batman, Spiderman and of course Cinderella.
Then there are regular, orphan orphans like Nelson Mandela, Marilyn Monroe and Steve Jobs.
I am the third type, an emotional orphan, like Bill, Hillary and Obama.
Orphans, Fictional, Regular or Emotional have a difficult time forming personal relationships and there is nothing more personal than getting married. But Unlike Cinderella, us real life orphans are our own worst enemy not our step-mother or step-sisters.
We never bonded or felt that warm fuzzy feeling of a mother’s love; we were born emotionally insecure. This so called attachment disorder supposedly affects 35% of the US population. Our high rate of teenage pregnancies means that half of all the children born in the US are technically, if not emotionally orphans – no legal baba mama partnership, not married.
Nelson Mandela, the George Washington/Abraham Lincoln of South Africa, spent 27 years in prison, after his release he got married for the third time and sponsored SOS Children’s Villages, the largest organization in the world dedicated to raising orphaned and abandoned children.
Marilyn Monroe’s story is a tragedy (America’s most famous sex-goddess actress, was dragged by her insane mother from her foster home in a duffel bag, later, upon her return to the same care-givers, sexually abused by the foster father. After two failed marriages and alleged affair with JFK the president of the US, she died at 36 from an overdose of barbiturates.
Steve Jobs, out-of-wedlock birth caused his mom to adopt him out to a college graduate couple. This orphancide childhood wound caused Jobs to deny that he was the father of his first child. Steve Jobs, the adult orphan, cheated his partner Steve Wozniak out of his half of a $5,000 bonus, where Wozniak did all the work. Even being orphaned (fired) by the Apple board of directors showed Jobs personal relationship insecurities.
However, we emotional orphan babies, like Bill Clinton, can use some parenting counsel. Nine times from the age of 48 Bill did some rather bizarre childlike behaviors, in the White House. Nine times between the ages of 48 to 52 Bill was talking with Monica Lewinsky about one of the four things we can’t talk about in Toastmasters. Bill was born after his alcoholic father had died. Birthing her first born in this circumstance meant that mother Rose couldn't deliver all the warm and fuzzies.
Bill instantly took a shine to Hillary because they shared the same emotional experience of not having a mother who was all there for them. Hillary's 2016 campaign oratory talks about her mother's abusive childhood abandonment, which led to Hillary's own attachment disorder.
Obama, has a hard time connecting with people emotionally for the same creds, no father, first born, that, "mom wants to palm me off fealing" and raised by his grandmother.
My own ophanic past is not pretty, most often self-destructive, and not famous – just a life of your everyday normal insecure emotional orphan. AA Promise #10 'Overcome our fear of people and financial insecurity,' has been my lifelong challenge. Marriage and employment relationships always brought out the "who's your momma, who's your daddy" heebie jeebies in me.
Esther was married for eight years before she decided to ask the Christian Science Practicioner if it was okay to bear a child. Marion, the engineer, I'm sure was always informing Esther of the life-cycle costs of children. Esther's lack of confidence with her firstborn and "you can call me Esther" introduction, whacked me as an attachment disorder orphan. Even though Sister Sue was bought up under this Esther/Marion lexicon, she escaped the attachment phase of childhood because Esther had three years of parenting experience by the time Sue made her earthly appearance.